1
00:00:25,386 --> 00:00:28,385
Hello. Can we buy three tickets
for the Games please?

2
00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:30,464
Certainly, sir.
Which event?

3
00:00:30,504 --> 00:00:32,783
The one were the prisoners take on
the wild beasts.

4
00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:34,822
The prisoner executions, sure.

5
00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:36,981
Hm. They're all sold out,
I'm afraid.

6
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,580
More shows will be added
if there's enough appetite.

7
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,899
From the punters or the beasts?
Both.

8
00:00:41,939 --> 00:00:44,577
You're welcome to add your names
to the waiting list.

9
00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:46,856
How about them massive
chubby chickens?

10
00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,935
The ostrich show's sold out too.

11
00:00:48,975 --> 00:00:51,134
Oh, the Mr Fatty Long-Nose.

12
00:00:51,174 --> 00:00:54,213
As is the elephant parade.
What do you have tickets for?

13
00:00:54,253 --> 00:00:57,731
The only animal show not sold out
is the pig chase.

14
00:00:57,771 --> 00:00:59,771
Right. What does that involve?

15
00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:01,850
Guys trying to catch
some greased up pigs.

16
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:04,169
That sounds absolutely mind blowing.

17
00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:06,967
We're not paying to watch pigs.
You can get that on a farm.

18
00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:11,085
We have to see something.
Three tickets for the pig chase.

19
00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:13,764
That's just sold out.
Oh, for fu...

20
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:32,416
I really wouldn't bother.

21
00:01:32,456 --> 00:01:34,455
Nothing good happens to us.
Accept it.

22
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,894
I will not accept it. No, sir.
We've got no money.

23
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:39,373
The one with the best job is a slave.
Ah, thank you.

24
00:01:39,413 --> 00:01:41,492
And in the biggest city in the world,

25
00:01:41,532 --> 00:01:43,851
I still can't find anyone
who'll go out with me.

26
00:01:43,891 --> 00:01:47,049
It's a dry patchizzle. You'll put
that thing to use sooner or later.

27
00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,968
I may as well cut it off
and use it as a spare thumb.

28
00:01:50,008 --> 00:01:52,167
Hey, will you be my boyfriend?

29
00:01:52,207 --> 00:01:54,286
Er... Sorry.
Will I...?

30
00:01:54,326 --> 00:01:57,365
I need you to be my boyfriend now.
Oi, you there.

31
00:01:57,405 --> 00:02:00,004
Please?
Ah, yes. Yes. Sure.

32
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:04,801
Are you an animal rights dickhead
who's lobbing tomatoes at the area?

33
00:02:04,841 --> 00:02:07,520
Excuse me, Officer. Tomatoes?
Yeah.

34
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,959
The splatty red things?
That is a criminal offence.

35
00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:13,078
Even in Gaul, I imagine.
But, Officer,

36
00:02:13,118 --> 00:02:15,277
I've been with my boyfriend
all afternoon.

37
00:02:15,317 --> 00:02:17,716
Ah, yes. I'm her boyfriend.
Hello.

38
00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:19,755
Oh, yeah? Doing what?

39
00:02:19,795 --> 00:02:23,393
We've been buying things for dinner.
Haven't we, darling?

40
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:27,311
Oh... Yes! I'm cooking
a romantic dinner of grapes...

41
00:02:27,911 --> 00:02:30,550
..and an egg.
Mm. My favourite.

42
00:02:32,989 --> 00:02:36,427
If you don't mind, we really must
go home and make love now.

43
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,946
Ooh. Er, OK.

44
00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:41,865
Yeah. On you go. As you were.

45
00:02:42,984 --> 00:02:44,983
Sorry.

46
00:02:45,023 --> 00:02:47,022
I am sorry for kissing you.

47
00:02:47,062 --> 00:02:49,461
It's fine. You can keep the tomato.

48
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:52,300
Is that it then?
Have we broken up already?

49
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,579
I should find my other dickhead.

50
00:02:54,619 --> 00:02:57,778
We are doing another protest tonight
if you want to join us.

51
00:02:57,818 --> 00:03:01,056
We'd love to.
Meet us by the area at sunset.

52
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,974
I'm Marcus, by the way.
Delphine.

53
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,732
You gonna eat that?

54
00:03:10,492 --> 00:03:12,491
That was incredible.

55
00:03:12,531 --> 00:03:15,170
You could see the sparks fly,
right, G Man?

56
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:17,529
I was more focussing on the tomato,
to be fair.

57
00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:20,727
She was just using me as an alibi.
She could have grabbed anyone.

58
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,326
But she grabbed you.
It's definitely destiny, man.

59
00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:26,485
I'm not sure destiny's thought
this through. She's from Gaul.

60
00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:29,004
She chucks tomatoes at stuff.
She's a bit real.

61
00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:32,162
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're real.
You're really real.

62
00:03:32,202 --> 00:03:34,321
I think she's the Gaul for you.

63
00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:36,560
No, she's not my kind of Gaul.

64
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,039
She's gonna be your Gaulfriend.
I can feel it.

65
00:03:39,999 --> 00:03:43,357
It's meant to go pink, blue,
pink, blue, you fat shit.

66
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:47,116
Salve, Grumio.
All right, Landlady.

67
00:03:47,156 --> 00:03:50,074
What's with all the flowers?
I'm gentrifying, aren't I?

68
00:03:50,114 --> 00:03:52,953
The Games are in town.
I'm turning this rats nest

69
00:03:52,993 --> 00:03:56,231
into an exclusive urban
apartment complex.

70
00:03:56,271 --> 00:03:59,190
Sweet. How are you going to do that?
Raise the rent, mainly.

71
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:02,469
That's another 30 a week.
Cough up, beaky.

72
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,668
Any word from Landlord, by the way?

73
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:07,626
No, he was always crap
at keeping in touch.

74
00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:11,465
He's a lot worse now he's dead.
We don't know that, do we?

75
00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:14,223
Oh, give it a rest, gormless.

76
00:04:14,263 --> 00:04:16,662
He's been on the run almost a year.

77
00:04:16,702 --> 00:04:18,821
My boy's dead in a ditch by now.

78
00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:21,700
Another 30 is pretty steep.
Yeah.

79
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,739
It's what he would have wanted.

80
00:04:26,578 --> 00:04:28,577
Of course I don't have tickets.

81
00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:32,095
Animals are idiots. Why would anyone
want to watch those divs?

82
00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:34,774
The one's in the arena have got some
serious talent.

83
00:04:34,814 --> 00:04:36,813
Talent?  Yes.
For what?

84
00:04:36,853 --> 00:04:39,612
Pooing where they want
and licking their own privates?

85
00:04:39,652 --> 00:04:42,091
No. For being cute and scary
at the same time.

86
00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:44,810
We knew a guy at school who
could lick his own privates,

87
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:48,288
so that's not animal specific.
What? No. Surely not.

88
00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:50,567
Apparently,
one in 20 guys can reach.

89
00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:53,766
Oh, as if it's possible to reach.
It is if you try hard enough.

90
00:04:53,806 --> 00:04:55,965
But...
I mean, that's...

91
00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:03,201
You can't get anywhere near it.
Look.

92
00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:06,240
Stop that.
Yes. Sorry. Was just making a point.

93
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,759
Kindly make your point at home,
water boy. You dirty devil.

94
00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:11,918
Yes, will do, water man.
Oh, Flavia.

95
00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:14,356
You haven't got any tickets for
the beasts have you?

96
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:17,235
I don't need tickets.
I've got a luxury box in the arena.

97
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,274
Whoa. How?
My husband got it.

98
00:05:19,314 --> 00:05:22,353
Then he got a bouncy bimbo
to run off to Greece with.

99
00:05:22,393 --> 00:05:25,032
Leaving both me and the box behind.

100
00:05:25,072 --> 00:05:27,471
Oh, no. How big is your box,
out of interest?

101
00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:29,550
Any chance I could squeeze in there?

102
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:33,708
My box is narrow and snug, shredder,
and I'd rather hoped to fill it

103
00:05:33,748 --> 00:05:37,586
with an eligible suitor rather than
some grubby goon from work.

104
00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:40,585
I'm just desperate to see
the beasts. I'd do anything.

105
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,743
Very well. Go get some sacks
and ropes from the store room.

106
00:05:43,783 --> 00:05:45,782
Oh, yes! Hang on.

107
00:05:45,822 --> 00:05:47,821
Is this a sex thing?
Quickly.

108
00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:51,340
You will do yourself a mischief.

109
00:05:54,259 --> 00:05:56,338
In his hasty escape,

110
00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:59,776
that randy little rat left
all of his crap behind, see?

111
00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:01,815
Whoa! This is a lot of stuff.
Indeed!

112
00:06:01,855 --> 00:06:06,373
He was an avid collector of art,
wine and women, as it turned out.

113
00:06:06,413 --> 00:06:10,171
Take it all to the dump for me,
and you can come in my box.

114
00:06:10,211 --> 00:06:12,890
Can I keep any of it?
There's no point. It's all broken.

115
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:15,849
This stuff here isn't.
Oh, is it not?  No.

116
00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:21,606
You little shit!
You dirty, dirty, cheating shit!

117
00:06:23,565 --> 00:06:25,804
OK. I'll dump it.
If you would.

118
00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,349
I say.
What do you think you're doing?

119
00:07:01,389 --> 00:07:04,347
I will not tolerate fly tipping!

120
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:10,185
You can shift all that filthy
clutter n'all. That includes Grumio.

121
00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:12,304
What? I'm not going anywhere.

122
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,343
I can't have you lowering the tone.

123
00:07:14,383 --> 00:07:16,422
You're worse than mould.

124
00:07:16,462 --> 00:07:19,940
And you can shut your noise, girl,
and all.

125
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:24,378
Thank the gods I won't have to
put up with that din much longer.

126
00:07:24,418 --> 00:07:26,417
You're not selling Juno?
No.

127
00:07:26,457 --> 00:07:28,496
Actually, I'm eating her.
Right.

128
00:07:28,536 --> 00:07:30,615
But she's Landlords'.

129
00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:33,974
And he's dead.
They'll be reunited, won't they?

130
00:07:34,014 --> 00:07:36,013
Soon as I've boiled her up.

131
00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:38,212
Oi! Let go!

132
00:07:38,252 --> 00:07:41,051
Let go!
Let go you bitey little bitch.

133
00:07:41,091 --> 00:07:43,090
Right!

134
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:46,968
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bloody hell. That's a bit full on.

135
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,966
Finger up the bum. The only language
your dumb animal speaks.

136
00:07:53,525 --> 00:07:55,524
I'm getting my stew pot.

137
00:08:00,842 --> 00:08:02,841
Hold up. What are you doing?

138
00:08:07,999 --> 00:08:10,677
You idiot.
Landlady's a total hard arse

139
00:08:10,717 --> 00:08:13,316
and now you've got her goat.
Literally got her goat.

140
00:08:13,356 --> 00:08:16,355
She were gonna eat her, tough.
Who brings a goat on a protest?

141
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,154
It'll be fine, man.
She can bleat along with the chants.

142
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,233
If there are chants.
We don't know, do we?

143
00:08:21,273 --> 00:08:24,711
We've never protested about anything.
Or ever cared about anything.

144
00:08:24,751 --> 00:08:26,870
Uh-uh. Not true.
We care about hot girls.

145
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:28,909
If they're protesting, so are we.

146
00:08:28,949 --> 00:08:30,948
I just wanted to blend in.

147
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,867
Not expose ourselves as
the dopey twats we obviously are.

148
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:36,386
Please calm down.
We'll absolutely nail this.

149
00:08:40,904 --> 00:08:43,663
You rescued a goat? That's amazing.

150
00:08:43,703 --> 00:08:45,942
Oh. Yeah. Exactly.

151
00:08:45,982 --> 00:08:48,261
We knew we had to intervene,
didn't we, Grumio?

152
00:08:48,301 --> 00:08:51,179
Our landlady was going to eat it.
She fingered it up the bum.

153
00:08:51,219 --> 00:08:53,938
Yeah. What? Did she?
She sounds horrible.

154
00:08:53,978 --> 00:08:55,977
And unhygienic.
Yeah, well.

155
00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:58,016
People do sick things
to animals here.

156
00:08:58,056 --> 00:09:01,415
Look at The Games. They're stacking
elephants on top of each other.

157
00:09:01,455 --> 00:09:04,054
For entertainment.
No way! How many can they do?

158
00:09:04,094 --> 00:09:07,252
Does it matter? They're making
monkeys wear little hats.

159
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,730
Oh, dear me, that's...
We hate that kind of thing.

160
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:14,809
Please may I have another tomato?

161
00:09:14,849 --> 00:09:17,248
Sorry, cherie.
We need them for the protest.

162
00:09:17,288 --> 00:09:19,567
Great.
Where we splatting these guys then?

163
00:09:19,607 --> 00:09:23,285
We're not. We're pulping them.
Ah, right. So how's that work?

164
00:09:23,325 --> 00:09:25,524
Tonight's protest
is more of a tableau.

165
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:28,163
So we pulp the tomatoes
to look like blood

166
00:09:28,203 --> 00:09:30,322
and then we smear it on our naked
bodies.

167
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,361
Yeah, great. Sorry, what?

168
00:09:32,401 --> 00:09:36,039
It's a naked protest. We're gonna
lay down like slaughtered animals.

169
00:09:36,079 --> 00:09:38,278
And the animals have to be naked,
do they?

170
00:09:38,318 --> 00:09:40,317
Animals usually are.
Fair point.

171
00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:43,436
Please, guys? We need more males
to balance out the herd.

172
00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:45,475
You'll do it, right?
Big time.

173
00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:47,794
Yeah, whatever.
Sorry, can you give us a sec?

174
00:09:50,193 --> 00:09:53,351
This is not how I want Delphine
to see me naked for the first time.

175
00:09:53,391 --> 00:09:56,030
You'll see her naked too.
I'm sure she'll look great.

176
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,109
It's chilly, and broad daylight.

177
00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:00,228
My penis does not fly
in these conditions.

178
00:10:00,268 --> 00:10:03,507
Hurry up, Marcus. I'm saving a place
for you next to me.

179
00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:07,865
Yeah! Sorry. Just having some trouble
with my belt knot.

180
00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:11,543
She'll be protesting, not checking
out the size of you penoose.

181
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:14,222
She'll be protesting against the size
of my penoose.

182
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:17,461
Grumio's ready, look.
Yeah, I know. I'm trying not to look.

183
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,500
Do you need me to help you?

184
00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:23,138
No thanks! It's just a granny knot.

185
00:10:23,178 --> 00:10:25,177
Ooh, ey up. Centurions.

186
00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:27,856
Oh, thank Jove for that.
Hello, Officer.

187
00:10:28,616 --> 00:10:32,494
Hi. There's a bit of a protest here.
You might wanna shut it down.

188
00:10:32,534 --> 00:10:35,772
Oh, not another one. What are these
clowns doing this time?

189
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:39,051
Yeah, they're stripping off
and covering themselves in tomato.

190
00:10:39,091 --> 00:10:41,090
Oh, OK. Well that's fine then.

191
00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:43,129
Wow. Is it?

192
00:10:43,169 --> 00:10:46,088
They're not damaging anything,
they can do what they want.

193
00:10:46,128 --> 00:10:49,606
Surely they're disturbing the peace.
It's pretty disturbing stuff.

194
00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:52,285
Just looks like some girls taking
their clothes off.

195
00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:54,404
Which is absolutely fine by me.

196
00:10:54,444 --> 00:10:56,563
Marcus, what's the problem?

197
00:10:58,402 --> 00:11:02,321
Don't you try and stop me,
you bully boy bastard.

198
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:05,319
What? I'm not.
This is a peaceful protest

199
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:08,878
against the sick cruelty to beasts.
You've no right to stop me.

200
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,917
I know. That's what I've just said.

201
00:11:10,957 --> 00:11:13,715
He said if I take my clothes off,
he's going to arrest me.

202
00:11:13,755 --> 00:11:16,274
What the fuck?
No, I never said...

203
00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:18,313
No!

204
00:11:18,353 --> 00:11:20,353
You oppressive shit!

205
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,431
No, no, no!

206
00:11:28,509 --> 00:11:31,907
Centurion brutality!

207
00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:35,106
Keep walking.

208
00:11:39,764 --> 00:11:41,803
Morning, wankers.
You got bail.

209
00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:45,281
You're free to go. Sentencing's
this afternoon in the Forum.

210
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:47,320
Stay out of trouble. OK, lads?

211
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,360
Thank you. Yes, will do.

212
00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:51,439
And put your bloody tunic back on.

213
00:11:57,956 --> 00:11:59,955
Fuck the police!

214
00:12:12,669 --> 00:12:15,308
Oh, hi. Thanks.
Thanks?

215
00:12:15,348 --> 00:12:18,546
I mean, sorry. That's what you say
when people kiss you?

216
00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:20,586
Thanks or sorry?

217
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:22,705
Historically, yes.

218
00:12:22,745 --> 00:12:26,023
You guys bailed us out?  Of course.
You took a beating for us.

219
00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:28,942
Yeah, I mean, we managed to get in
a couple of good punches,

220
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:32,020
I'm just gutted I couldn't do
the whole naked protest thing.

221
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,059
Another time, maybe?
Yeah.

222
00:12:34,099 --> 00:12:38,178
Or instead, how about dinner tonight
at my place?

223
00:12:38,218 --> 00:12:40,217
Sounds good.

224
00:12:40,257 --> 00:12:42,656
Where's you anally abused goat,
by the way?

225
00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:46,294
Juno! Juno!

226
00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:55,810
It's still warm. She must be close.

227
00:12:57,089 --> 00:12:59,208
Yeah, that's not telling me much.

228
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:03,566
Juno?

229
00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:06,405
No, it wasn't that.
How did you hurt your neck?

230
00:13:06,445 --> 00:13:08,724
I just slept funny.
How funny?

231
00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:10,763
End up trying to suck you're on nob?
No.

232
00:13:10,803 --> 00:13:13,562
That would be funny.
Don't pretend you've never tried.

233
00:13:13,602 --> 00:13:15,761
He doesn't need to.
He's got a Gaulfriend.

234
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:18,759
She gave him a Gaulic kiss.
What? You're kidding me.

235
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:21,518
Tonight, she's bringing a baguette.
What does that mean?

236
00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:24,077
I think it's just long bread.
I can't handle this.

237
00:13:24,797 --> 00:13:28,155
Shredder, a quick word in my office.
Oh.  I did warn you.

238
00:13:35,672 --> 00:13:37,671
No. Juno!

239
00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:41,269
Juno! Move back.

240
00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:43,868
Let go, Juno!
Oi!

241
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:51,385
You managed to get everything
to the dump, then, did you?

242
00:13:51,425 --> 00:13:53,424
Er, yes, thanks. All fine.

243
00:13:53,464 --> 00:13:57,142
Curious.
I wonder, then, how Simeon here,

244
00:13:57,182 --> 00:14:00,981
found a bag full of my husband's
adult toys in his front garden.

245
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,339
Hello again.
How did you...

246
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:05,778
Company address was printed
on the sack

247
00:14:05,818 --> 00:14:09,257
that you so carelessly tossed into
my privet.

248
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:12,935
It's an absolute disgrace, frankly.
OK. You're right. I'm really sorry.

249
00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:16,694
To throw out such high quality
leatherwear like that...

250
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:18,853
Simeon is quite the aficionado.

251
00:14:18,893 --> 00:14:20,892
Well, I dabble.

252
00:14:20,932 --> 00:14:25,290
I must say, this is the finest
lambskin gimp mask I've ever handled.

253
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:28,048
He's persuaded me to hang onto it
after all, shredder.

254
00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:31,047
Cool. Sorry, have I done bad
or good? I can't tell.

255
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:33,606
Very good. You've excelled yourself.

256
00:14:33,646 --> 00:14:36,405
Thanks to your in-built idiocy,
I've met Simeon, here.

257
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:38,844
Great! So I can still use your box
later on, then?

258
00:14:38,884 --> 00:14:42,082
As a result, I know have a much
better man to fill my box with.

259
00:14:42,122 --> 00:14:44,121
Sorry, old chum.
What?

260
00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:46,600
No, don't take this guy.
You barely know him.

261
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,639
We've only met briefly,
but, in that time,

262
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,998
we really have bonded, haven't we?

263
00:14:51,038 --> 00:14:53,037
I'll say.

264
00:14:53,077 --> 00:14:55,156
What about me?
How am I going to see the beasts?

265
00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:57,315
There's a waiting list.
Add you name to it.

266
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,434
I already have.
Well, do it again.

267
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:17,946
My azaleas bitten to buggery.

268
00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:20,225
Shit all over my courtyard.

269
00:15:20,265 --> 00:15:23,184
It's Landlord's courtyard.
Punch him in the head, Davus.

270
00:15:23,224 --> 00:15:26,462
I'd rather not. He's me mate.
Punch the goat in the head then.

271
00:15:26,502 --> 00:15:29,021
We're fairly tight as well.
Right!

272
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,380
It's time for my dinner.

273
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,419
Don't.
Give us it here.

274
00:15:33,459 --> 00:15:35,458
Stop it! No!
Stop it!

275
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,576
Right! That is it!

276
00:15:44,254 --> 00:15:47,733
You got us evicted, for the sake of
our dead landlord's rancid goat?

277
00:15:47,773 --> 00:15:49,772
Yeah, it got a bit out of hand.

278
00:15:49,812 --> 00:15:52,371
What about my sexy dinner date
with Delphine?

279
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:54,410
I'm back to getting naked
in the street.

280
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:56,849
Good afternoon, citizens.

281
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,128
Here are today's sentences.

282
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:03,286
Julius Drusus, charged with
shoplifting, 25 denarii fine.

283
00:16:03,326 --> 00:16:05,405
Forza Alfidia,

284
00:16:05,445 --> 00:16:09,323
charged with soliciting
without a licence, 300 denarii fine.

285
00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:11,642
Bloody hell.
Ours had better not be that much.

286
00:16:11,682 --> 00:16:16,840
Marcus Gallow, Stylax Urastaques
and Grumio, no surname given,

287
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,998
charged with assaulting a centurion,
50 denarii fine.

288
00:16:21,038 --> 00:16:23,557
That's fine. That's a fine fine.

289
00:16:24,996 --> 00:16:26,995
What's going on now?

290
00:16:27,035 --> 00:16:30,753
Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been
informed that due to popular demand,

291
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:33,952
one more beast show has been added
for this afternoon.

292
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:36,191
Oh, yes! That was me!

293
00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:38,390
I was the popular demand!
Boom.  Yeah!

294
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:41,149
Let's get to the box office
and snaffle some good seats.

295
00:16:41,189 --> 00:16:44,067
As a result,
we'll be needing more prisoners

296
00:16:44,107 --> 00:16:47,266
so those people just mentioned
will no longer have to pay a fine...

297
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,305
What?
This gets better and better.

298
00:16:49,345 --> 00:16:51,944
Shh. Hang on. ..as they will now be
sentenced to death

299
00:16:51,984 --> 00:16:54,263
by wild beasts in the arena.

300
00:16:54,303 --> 00:16:56,302
Have a great day.

301
00:17:11,255 --> 00:17:13,854
Well, you wanted to see the beasts.

302
00:17:13,894 --> 00:17:16,493
Now you will.
Right up close.

303
00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:18,772
Bit too close.
I didn't want to see inside them.

304
00:17:18,812 --> 00:17:22,170
Should have thought of that before
you filled in that waiting list.

305
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:25,729
You punched centurion because you
didn't want to get your wang out.

306
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:28,568
At least we won't have
to find somewhere to live any more.

307
00:17:28,608 --> 00:17:30,926
Because we won't live any more.
I know.

308
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:34,645
I'm just saying. Every cloud.

309
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:37,524
Juno, love!

310
00:17:37,564 --> 00:17:40,002
Where you going?
Soz, mate.

311
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:42,042
She keeps wandering off.

312
00:17:42,921 --> 00:17:45,720
Salve, Grumio.
All right, Landlord.

313
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,759
Landlord?

314
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,277
Where've you been?
Well, how long have you got?

315
00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:54,156
Not long. Probably just give us
the gist, if poss.

316
00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:58,354
OK. Ran away, hid in a cave, got
caught, brought here, met you lot.

317
00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:00,713
But you've got a way out of this,
right?

318
00:18:00,753 --> 00:18:02,912
You're dodgy as fuck.
Surely you got a plan?

319
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:04,951
Yeah, I have, actually.

320
00:18:04,991 --> 00:18:08,110
Gonna knock myself out on the
arena wall before something eats me.

321
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:11,508
Right. And how about if we want
to avoid getting eaten altogether?

322
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,667
Oh, well. If you beat the beasts,
then you're laughing.

323
00:18:14,707 --> 00:18:18,585
Wicked. let's do that, then.
15 years ago I think someone did.

324
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:21,424
OK, great.
Back when they used to use badgers.

325
00:18:21,464 --> 00:18:23,463
And squirrels.

326
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,420
Marcus!
Hey!

327
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:32,699
Delphine. I'm being executed.

328
00:18:32,739 --> 00:18:34,738
I heard. It's so shitty.

329
00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:37,337
Have you come to watch?
No, we're protesting outside.

330
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,456
And they listening?
Will they let us go?

331
00:18:39,496 --> 00:18:42,734
No idea. We're protesting against
the animal cruelty.

332
00:18:42,774 --> 00:18:44,773
What about the human cruelty?

333
00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:47,212
I'm gonna get eaten alive.
I'm trying to do both.

334
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,771
It's amazing that you'd die
for the cause like this.

335
00:18:49,811 --> 00:18:52,570
What? I'm not dying
for the bloody cause.

336
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,609
I don't give a shit about the cause.

337
00:18:54,649 --> 00:18:57,048
If I'm honest,
I don't even really like animals.

338
00:18:57,088 --> 00:18:59,087
I did this because I really fancy you

339
00:18:59,127 --> 00:19:02,246
and didn't want you seeing my scared
little willy in broad daylight.

340
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:04,285
How's that for a cause?
Come on!

341
00:19:11,881 --> 00:19:13,880
I don't want to die now.

342
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,999
I mean, I'm not keen on it happening
at all, but not now.

343
00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:20,877
I've got no regrets.
Really? No regrets? None at all?

344
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,956
I suppose I could have had
more sleep.

345
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,675
- I wish I'd had more sex.
- Don't we all, mate.

346
00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:28,594
Or at least another go on myself.
I wonder if I can...

347
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,472
No. The adrenaline should speed
things up.

348
00:19:31,512 --> 00:19:34,631
Isn't it humiliating enough
without throwing in a death wank?

349
00:19:34,671 --> 00:19:36,670
Fine, I won't.

350
00:19:47,865 --> 00:19:49,864
Afternoon.

351
00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:58,580
Well, it's been nice knowing you.

352
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:01,179
I'm going to brain myself
on that wall.

353
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:03,298
Go on, I'll 'ave a bit of that.
OK, cool.

354
00:20:03,338 --> 00:20:05,577
I think I will have that death wank.
No, wait.

355
00:20:06,457 --> 00:20:09,455
Listen.
I know the odds aren't...great,

356
00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:12,094
and this usually doesn't end well,

357
00:20:12,134 --> 00:20:15,533
but I also know that if we stick
together and work as a team,

358
00:20:15,573 --> 00:20:18,491
then no matter what comes
through that gate, we can take it.

359
00:20:18,531 --> 00:20:20,531
What do you say?

360
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:23,569
- Together.
- Together.

361
00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:29,486
Shit the bed, it's a lion!

362
00:20:29,526 --> 00:20:31,526
I'm getting out of here!
OK, great.

363
00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:34,164
Brain myself, brain myself.

364
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,799
I kicked it in his face! I kicked
a lion in its fucking face!

365
00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:50,917
I'm fast, you big yellow bastard.

366
00:20:57,914 --> 00:21:00,952
Why are you aggressive?
Just calm down!

367
00:21:05,470 --> 00:21:07,909
Er, help me! Help me.

368
00:21:08,629 --> 00:21:10,988
Good lion, good lion.

369
00:21:12,307 --> 00:21:14,506
Shit, that hurts!

370
00:21:14,546 --> 00:21:16,665
Bad lion, bad lion!

371
00:21:16,705 --> 00:21:18,944
It's eating me. It's eating me up.

372
00:21:18,984 --> 00:21:20,983
Help! Bloody hell.

373
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,133
Good thinking, G Man.

374
00:21:44,173 --> 00:21:47,771
Sometimes a finger up the bum's the
only language these animals speak.

375
00:22:09,042 --> 00:22:11,721
Cheers for saving
the old life there, Grumio.

376
00:22:11,761 --> 00:22:14,879
S'all right. Let us stay in
the flats and we'll call it quits.

377
00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:16,918
Deal.
Maybe a reduction in rent?

378
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:18,957
Sorry, we just called it quits.

379
00:22:18,997 --> 00:22:21,476
Marcus! I'm so glad you're alive.

380
00:22:22,556 --> 00:22:25,075
Really? Even though I lied about
liking animals?

381
00:22:25,115 --> 00:22:27,993
Yeah, you did it all for me.
That's so romantic.

382
00:22:28,033 --> 00:22:32,032
Hm, yeah. I guess it is.
My friends don't all agree.

383
00:22:32,072 --> 00:22:35,030
Lion fingerer! You fingered a lion!

384
00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:37,069
You lying, fingering bastard.

385
00:22:37,109 --> 00:22:40,108
You're scum!
Animal hating scum!

386
00:22:42,907 --> 00:22:45,186
Delphine.
Uh-huh?

387
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,264
Will you be my Gaulfriend?